Time’s up, Punsutawney Phil! With the arrival of spring, golfers across the nation will be firing up the group chat to scheme long weekend trips and sunny-day scrambles at their favorite tracks.
Your go-to tournament foursome may be dialed but, unfortunately, not every event is likely to fit the shared calendar… And if Bobby’s on kid duty and Allie’s out of PTO, you might find yourself searching for the perfect fourth to round out the squad.
So in the spirit of keeping Waggle weird, we figured we’d share some wild options inspired by our latest spring release.
[In completely arbitrary order of best to worst]
You won’t find a better anchor than Silverback here, and it’s near guaranteed he’ll be banging record drives off the tee box for you all day long. But be advised… he’s been known to go a little ape sh*t when he lands in the trees.
While he may be too shy to partake in the party, this stealthy guy is exactly who you want stalking birdies when it’s critical you steal a few strokes from the tourney leader on the back nine. Just make sure you secure the slot closest to twilight… lest his nocturnal rhythm completely knock you out.
Docile, friendly, a regular ham with the bev cart. His ball will find the mud more often than you’d like, but Hammy here is the glue guy your group needs to keep the laughter squealin’ (we mean glue guy figuratively, if anyone from PETA is reading this).
Fairway. Green. Fairway. Green. The consistency is annoying when you’re playing your own ball, but Skeeter’s a killer scramble add when she’s really buzzing. But every buzz has its inevitable bite, and those pesky +4s will draw blood no matter how much bogey-repellant you’ve got on the scorecard.
Proper, plodding, peremptory. If you want a fourth who feels personally responsible for holding the entire clubhouse to the game’s most archaic rules, buddy up with this prehistoric poke and pray your clubs stay in one piece.
Honorable Mention (not new, but deserving of consideration):
An absolute icon. His game might get a bit lost in the trees, but this distinguished gentleman has mastered the art of the 19th hole—meaning your drinks won’t be bottom shelf (even if your golf balls are).
Ah, the lovable lumberer of America’s heartland. Not great for pace of play and often found grazing the fringe, Bessie here still is capable of prodding in a round-saving putt that the entire herd will remember fondly for seasons to come.
Need a little big bird energy? This guy is always feelin’ himself, strutting the course with the undeniable confidence of a golfer who never misses the green (even though he always does). If nothing else, he’s good entertainment—so long as you’re cool with someone else ruling the roost.
Which Waggle wildlife are you drafting? Drop your first round pick in the comments and we might just send you their corresponding cap!