'Tis the season to get your Waggle on.
Like it or not, the flipping of the calendar from October to November ushers in the spirit of sleigh bells and sugarplums everywhere you shop. We say goodbye to animatronic apparitions* and hello to jolly decor, merry music and the time-honored family tradition of a dang good deal.
With every year that passes, the Black Friday sales start earlier and the incentives get more creative. Determined to compete with $12 air fryers and buy-four-TVs-get-one-free, we too spend no shortage of hours dreaming up what to offer during our biggest sale of the year.
Following much consideration of our customer’s wants and needs, we ultimately opted to keep things simple—from November 11 to December 2, you’re getting 30% off everything. Hats, polos, outerwear, accessories… No exclusions or color-coded tags. If we sell it, you save it. In-store, in-app and online.
Just for kicks though, here are a few runner-ups that got left on the brainstorming table…
Buy the Hat, Get the Animal
Your neighbors are going to love this one. Chickens, goats, gators…. This holiday season, we’re bringing the wildlife from your shirt to your doorstep. Default shipping method is ark. To upgrade to overnight delivery, please select Operation Dumbo Drop at checkout.
Cub Foods Coupons
Your order, our Cub. As part of your purchase, we’ll throw in the weekly ad from Minnesota’s finest local grocer so you can clip and save to your heart’s content. Cannot be exchanged for regionally relevant coupon packs.
3-Month Magazine Subscription
Choose from Better Homes & Gardens, Reader’s Digest, National Geographic Kids or any of the other publications we swiped last month from our dentist.
Free Pack of Ankle Socks
Millennials, rejoice! Gen Z wants nothing to do with our no-shows, making the right to bare ankles more affordable than ever. Bullish on the 2010s, we bought low (pun intended)—and we’re passing our riches on to you by including a free pair of ankle socks in every purchase.
Mail-In Rebate
Do you love the US Postal Service? Boy, do we have the promo for you! We’ll send your items, you send us back the receipt to prove to us (who literally just sent them to you) that you really bought them. After all that, we’ll send you back a check within 56 weeks. Don’t forget to thank your postman!
Free Round of Golf for 2 Players (*Exclusions Apply)
*Does not include cart. Not valid Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Not valid between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Must be redeemed with an Uncle who has a long-standing political party affiliation. Valid only on November 6.
Glad we picked a different offer? So are we. Mark your calendar and get ready to stock up November 11 through December 2 with 30% off everything in-store, in-app and online.
*After publishing this blog, we discovered we've used “animatronic” in three of our last five editions of Fringe Thoughts. It has astonishingly not been intentional, but you can bet it's now a personal challenge to keep the streak alive. Where will it land next month? Subscribe below to find out…